I this light the key is to SEE the Situation and this means to SEE CLEARLY... this is a great challenge because it is usually interpreted as you being advised that 'you' should see clearly - this is not the case - it is not 'you' who sees clearly simply because in Truth there is no you (there is no 'doer', no entity that sees clearly or otherwise)... yet there is FUNCTIONING as Awareness that Sees... and not only does it see Awareness is also the actor - in short Seeing is Doing (Awareness is the seeing and it is also that which acts)... it can be said that Awareness is unbiased, innocent Space as Seeing which is not distorted in any way such that its Seeing is Clear - and when there is clarity then intelligent action unfolds naturally (like a child who has been told many times not to touch a heater because it is hot touches the heater once and intelligent action unfolds naturally (note that in this example of the child there is no doer - there is only seeing and the simultaneous action that comes with it).
It is the mind (the thinking-mind) that seeks a permanent, once-and-for-all-solution - there is no such thing... life is experiential and is lived moment-to-moment as it unfolds... the key is to WELCOME life as it it (again there is no 'you' as the entity who is welcoming - there is only welcoming as Seeing)... and there is FUNCTIONING - as you RELAX and let things come to you, they will be seen clearly in the spaciousness of your relaxation - this is the means of SEEING the Situation - and you are naturally intelligent because your true nature is intelligence itself - it is that inate intelligence that acts.
A shorthand way of describing all of this is that it is Love and the way of being described above is the way of Love.
Lastly, you cannot control or do anything about that for which you are not responsible - although there is no 'you' you can play a role based on wisdom - in this case you simply take responsibility for everything (this does not mean that you have to be burdened by guilt or that you have to make compensation for everything)... taking responsibility is simply another means of seeing things as they are - to Welcome them...
- the experience of taking responsibility for everything unfolds like this...
- something has occurred (a family member has misbehaved, there has been an accident, you have been given a promotion, an earthquake has happened in Alaska - some event has happened)... in taking full responsibility for the event you do not abide as the limited false-small self, rather you see that you are the Self as the Source of all that is and from there you say - "I see that this has happened and that I am responsible; I am thankful that I am now aware of this and that I have the opportunity to take responsible for it and I do; Since I am responsible for this situation there has to be something in me that caused this - whatever that cause is I now forgive myself for having done this." (note: this has to be sincere, which means that you not only 'think' this you 'feel' the Truth of your responsibility, thank yourself for the opportunity to see it, acknowledge that you truly are responsible, then sincerely forgive yourself for whatever in you caused this).
The 'taking responsibility' and 'forgiveness' process described above is a means of 'CLEARING'... this Clearing (is yet another means of Seeing Clearly) is another means of coming to the understanding 'The Solution is ALWAYS in the Situation' (life is experiential).